


From The Beginning

by 손 현숙 (safarikalamari)



Series: A Softer World [2]
Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Getting Back Together, M/M, One Shot, Present Tense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:35:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23471062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/safarikalamari/pseuds/%EC%86%90%20%ED%98%84%EC%88%99
Summary: Spot misses Race
Relationships: Spot Conlon/Racetrack Higgins
Series: A Softer World [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1409071
Kudos: 32





	From The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt for this one was: **I have loved since you. But when the new paint gets scratched, there you are underneath. (My heart is layers of scar.)**

It’s been years. 

Spot can’t even begin to imagine where Race is by now. Perhaps he moved across the country, fell in love, started a family. In a way, Spot hopes that’s exactly what’s happened. Maybe then he could move on, stop holding onto the past. 

This weeknight isn’t any different from the others. Spot stares at the ceiling as he lays in his bed and he desperately tries to keep the thought of Race away.   
He remembers the last time Race smiled. It was somber, as if Race was painting a picture that he only wanted Spot to see. The next days were filled with tears and Spot blinks, harsh and rapid, to try to stave off the memories. 

In truth, he hadn’t wanted Race to go. He loved Race, loved Race too much that it was starting to hurt. For all he knew, once Race saw the worst of him, that would be it. So, Spot stopped it as soon as he could. Race had left without a word and Spot let himself become a whirlwind. Jumping from one fling to the next, falling into short relationships, but nothing lasting. Nothing like Race.

Spot wishes he could just stop thinking about him. They’re over and done with. 

Jumping out of bed, Spot trudges to the kitchen, hoping a glass of water will help his thoughts clear. As he’s filling a glass, there’s a knock on his front door and Spot glances at the time. Figuring it’s just Jack drunk again, Spot carries his glass with him to the door and throws open the latch. 

Spot hears the shattering of the glass, but all he sees is Race. It’s some cruel trick of the mind and Spot continues to stare as Race hastily cleans up the broken shards. 

“You should get some shoes on,” Race comments as he scoops the mess onto the welcome mat. 

When he finally stands, Spot still can’t make himself do anything, his mouth struggling to open as Race waits. 

“It’s me, Spot,” Race cuts in again. “I guess it’s good you don’t have a voice right now, because there’s a lot I have to say. Can I come in?”

Spot somehow manages to stand to the side, watching as Race easily finds his way through Spot’s place, throwing away the broken glass. 

“I see you haven’t redecorated.”

Taking careful steps, Spot follows behind Race, until they’re both sitting in the living room. Race only raises an eyebrow at Spot’s never-ending stare before he clears his throat.

“I’m mad at you, Spot. Really mad. I should’ve guessed what you were doing when we broke up. I should’ve stayed and instead, I just let my anger take over. I thought you deserved it.” Race sighs as he runs a hand down his face. “You’re an idiot. I don’t care whatever past you have or if you have things you hate about yourself. I loved you. Still love you. I never wanted this. I tried to move on, but all I could see was you. Your dumb smile, your weird sleeping habits, everything. So, go ahead, throw me out again, but just know I’m never going to stop loving you.”

There is nothing at first before everything pours into Spot’s brain. There’s so much he wants to say, but nothing can come out of him fast enough. He hears his breath quicken and he forces himself to speak, even if the words are wrong.

“I’m scared,” Spot admits in a shaky voice. “I’ve hurt you once, who’s to say I’m not going to do it again?”

“Me,” Race says with a small laugh. He reaches over, wiping a tear off of Spot’s cheek and Spot wonders when he started crying. “We’ll be better this time, I promise.”

Race’s hand is still on his face and Spot can’t think about anything else than the potential laid out for them. He’s a wreck, that much hasn’t changed, but maybe there is a chance. Race is here, in the flesh, offering something Spot never imagined. 

All Spot wants to do is hold Race close, but he chooses to take Race’s free hand in his own. This time, he won’t run. 

If he has truly been given another chance then Spot will take it and do whatever he can to keep Race, the love of his life, by his side.

**Author's Note:**

> lol hi gays bye gays


End file.
